Learning to Ask for Help

Learning to Ask for Help

I have written a couple of articles about caring for people. I have gotten many compliments for doing so. I appreciate that. While there has been a good response to caring for people, I am aware that many choose not to ask for help. This concerns me. It is valuable, healthy, and smart to seek assistance. Clearly, people are wanting to provide it.

A woman I know who is elderly, had a bad cold. She chose not to attend a few events, in part because she did not want others to get ill. She indicated that she did not feel well enough to leave her home. I asked what I could do for her. She said she needed nothing. I told her to let me know if there was something she wanted. I am available and happy to run an errand. She thanked me and said she would.

I called her every couple of days to find out how she was feeling. On the fourth day, she told me she still was not feeling up to par. She also said she had gone to the supermarket. I asked her why she did not call me, and she said she felt it was imposing to do so. I told her I was not pleased with her explanation.

I had an issue with my AT&T bill and I called to talk to billing. Arrangements were made and I was told I need a new modem. I had one replaced historically due to problems. I scheduled an appointment.

The worker told me he was replacing all the wiring, which is why they said I needed a new modem. He worked for almost three hours. As he was leaving, I asked him whether I still had my shows on the digital video recorder. He assured me that the change only affected my phone and Wi-Fi service.

I checked my computer after he left and discovered I had no Wi-Fi. I caught him as he was pulling away in his van. He came back in an discovered my network name and password had been changed. I did so on my computer (and later on my cell phone.) He left again.

Now somewhat paranoid, I turned on the television and discovered I could not access Netflix, etc. I went to the settings area and found the network name had changed, but I was unable to find the password.

I found another area and tried to enter the new password and was unsuccessful. I had a client try, and she was unsuccessful. I decided to call Samsung about it. I was concerned about being on the phone with them and simultaneously try to enter the 16-digit password. I am a good multitasker, but this seemed too much for me.

I called my engineer friend. He came over, went to same place I had tried, as was successful. He suggested, rightly so I am sure, that my client and I erred on the 16 digits.

I asked for help. I was successful. Please do so.

Dr. Natalie Gelman is an Alameda-based therapist. Submit questions to drnataliegelman@gmail.com or through her website, www.drnataliegelman.com.