Halloween: A Dog’s Life

Rudy the Dog

Halloween: A Dog’s Life

I have the Old Man trained, three walks a day, two dog beds, proper food and treats plus my personal couch and car blankets. It really didn’t take that long for me to whip him into shape. I have had mixed results with the Old Lady, but let’s just say she doesn’t cramp my style.

Kids, however, are another story, too much energy and they act like they are in charge. Fourteen month old Lena, despite the fact she can only crawl, has taken to dragging me around the house by my leash. My pained brown eyes have no effect, resistance is futile. She just pulls me all over the place. The Old People just laugh!

I have better luck with neighbor kids. They are at first shy and ask permission before they approach. After a proper introduction I allow them to pet me, but sometimes they appear as a pack and surround me. The only thing that works to that kind of invasion is too lie down and look sad. Boring them is a good tactic.

Up to this year I loved Halloween. Decked out kids of all sizes and shapes joyfully climb our steps giggling. I am delighted to greet each new arrival with a bark and a howl. Basically unrestricted barking, who would dare complain? This was before little Lena arrived on the scene. Now I am part of the show.

It started simply enough. Daughter Mary drove up with Lena and my pals, Toby the grey miniature Pitbull, and cockeyed, black and white checkered mutt, Chihuly. I joined my pack in the back while my oldsters climbed into the passenger seats. So far so good, off to a farm.

Arriving at the farm there were big orange balls scattered in large fields as far as we could see. Excellent! I climbed out with my canine colleagues and dragging our humans we headed to the fields sprinkled with families, hounds and kids of all ages. Mary spread out a blanket, a picnic at dog level, perfect for mooching treats. Outside, lots of new smells, snacks, life was good until Mary opened her bag. Inside the bag were horror of horrors, costumes and not costumes for kids, but for dogs! Toby was turned into a green dinosaur and long legged Chihuly became a bumble bee. I tried to separate myself, but I was leashed and trapped. I was shoehorned into a pirate suit, legs thrust into tiny holes and a cape strapped around my waist. The final humiliation, a feathered pirate’s hat was strapped on my head. Dogs don’t wear hats! Dogs are free spirits not bound by clothes. Chihuly and Toby were less perturbed, they had suffered these indignities before, but I looked ridiculous. We were noticed and before I could plan an escape we were surrounded by kids and parents, laughing and poking at us. My dignity was shattered. Squeals of delight surrounded us. Black cape, feathered hat I no longer was the feared hunter, I was a clown. All I could do was sit and try to rise above the show, but it didn’t work. Fortunately patient Toby became the main focus of attention as he had no problem when the kids tried to climb on his dinosaur body.

For once Little Lena came to my rescue. All the action, sur rounded by the gaggle of kids, she let out one of her better howls (Did I teach her that?) It was decided we should pick up our pumpkins and go home.

You would hope this is the end of the story, but no, my Old People delighted in my misery and Halloween night made me reappear as a pirate. I still could bark at will, but who is awed by a canine pirate. It ruined most of my fun.

The Old People and Mary will pay for this. Rudy I think I finally won one.

-John Platt.