Suddenly a danger to National Security


I write on behalf of myself and other misguided patriots.

I have never enjoyed a Big Mac. I don’t drink Coca-Cola. I don’t spend time online; not on Facebook, either. Never had a Bud Light. I live in East Oakland, but I’ve never owned a gun or even a slingshot. I feel very unafraid and unthreatened. 

I am 80 years old and my model public servants were Adlai Stevenson, a democrat, and Jacob Javits, a Republican. I find the orange creature who is president to be artificial and a fool. 
What’s wrong with me? Am I a danger to national security?


Felix Justice

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